Jared's proposal

I am still in shock as I write this.

Last night was our Halloween party. It was fun getting ready - I helped Morgan make food, desserts, etc.

We also decorated the Cargo Bay with spooky decorations. It was fun! I love Earth holidays. :)

I went dressed as Magenta from the ancient Earth movie the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Jared went as a Starfleet captain. *sigh* He looked so handsome in that uniform. And I found out that he was in StarFleet! He went to the Academy! MY Jared! *shakes her head* I can't get over that. I can't picture him as a cadet. *laughs*

We had a good time - music, dancing, joking around. Then Jared said he needed to leave, so he disappeared for a while.

When he came back, he handed me a small box. In it was a beautiful ring (pictured).

But what stunned me even more was when he dropped to one knee and said that I had saved his life, he trusted me with his life, and he wanted to share his life with me.

Then he asked: "Shara, will you marry me?" and held up the ring to me.

Of course, I said yes. *laughs* Once I found my voice, of course.

We will be getting married during the next shore leave. I am looking forward to this next step.

Grey The Chittermyrr

Chief Medic's Log:

While on Prynn, I had to hide in a tree for the night in order to stay safe.

Several animals - that called themselves chittermyrrs - stayed with me and helped keep me warm during the night. I believe they were also trying to protect me.

These animals resemble a large Earth chinchilla. They have soft fur, a friendly disposition and can be quite ferocious when defending their nests or littermates.

I have also found that they are sentient beings, and they communicate with other species via telepathy.

One of them - called Grey One Who Chitters All Night Long (Grey, for short) - stowed away on my shuttle and has said he wishes to stay on board the Liberty with me.

Prynn

This has been a very difficult time.

Jared, Chase and I went to one of the moons nearby – Prynn - in order to pick up some supplies and to have some shore leave.

(Chase is a former medical student from Dr. Ishom's medical school. The medical facility has a school associated with it. Chase lost his funding over some infraction of the rules. We are giving him transport to the next system so he can try to get into another medical school.)

It was a beautiful place. There were lush forests, plenty of wildlife, and the people there lead a very simple life. They shun technology and choose to live a life that is much like the life their ancestors lived.

I loved it there. I enjoyed getting to know the locals and taking walks in the forests with Jared.
But to Jared began to act differently. He simply was not like himself. Eventually, he began to be violent and his entire demeanor changed. He was hostile and spoke terrible things to me.

Come to find out, he had been infected with a native microbe. At this point, I am still not certain whether he was infected accidentally or intentionally. I suspect that it was intentional, because the way he spoke made it seem like he was under the influence of the elders in the village. While this is completely speculation on my part, I do believe that it is a valid conclusion.

During our stay, once his behavior got extremely erratic, I had to hide from him. One night, I stayed in a nook in a tree. Some of the local animals – called chittermyrrs -stayed with me and helped keep me warm. (They look like large Earth chinchillas.)

Another time, when Jared had a hold of me and would not release me, it was necessary to plunge my dagger into his upper arm in order to buy some time so I could escape. It haunts me that I would have to do something like that, but it was necessary. There was no other way.

In order to escape, Chase and I had to drug Jared. Chase tricked Jared into letting him administer a sedative. We used a mild sedative at first said he would be more compliant but he would still be able to walk. Once we got him on the shuttle, he began to act violently again – so I had Chase give him a stronger sedative that knocked him out.

I had to pilot the shuttle. It was a bumpy ride, but we made it. I had flown the shuttle before, so I knew that I could take off and fly. The only problem was going to be with landing. Luckily, Morgan was able to use a tractor beam in order to bring us in safely to the shuttle bay.

Once we got back to the ship, I discovered that we had a stowaway. One of the chittermyrrs – named Grey One Who Chitters All Night, but Grey for short - snuck aboard the shuttle and came back with us to the Liberty. Since there is no way that we will be able to take him back, he is going to have to stay on board with us. *laughs* Not that he seems to mind. He seems to enjoy it here.

Once on board, I took Jared to the infirmary. I treated him with a strong antibiotic while I kept him sedated. I also consulted with Dr. Ishom, and he made a suggestion as to a medication to add to Jared’s regimen. This additional medication in conjunction with the medication I had already administered seems to have done the trick. Jared is back to his normal self.

While I was in contact with Dr. Ishom, he made me a surprising offer: a spot in his medical school. All expenses will be paid, plus I would have a stipend. There would be a place for me to stay, and I could even bring Jared with me.

It is an incredibly tempting offer. Not only would I be able to become a full-fledged doctor, but it would also be a chance to set down some roots on an actual planet instead of going hither and yon. I have talked to Jared about it. I know that he would support me, no matter what I decide – but I also know that he enjoys wandering the galaxy. I really believe that he would be bored to tears if I asked him to settle down somewhere.

Now we are getting ready to have a Halloween party. I am looking forward to having some lighthearted fun. Maybe it’ll take my mind off of everything.

~ Shara, Chief Medic of the Liberty

ooc - Upcoming episode teaser

This week:

Shara and Jared arrive at a planet that is like paradise - will they leave the Liberty and settle down to a new life there, or does the planet harbour a dark secret that will prove fatal to one of them?

Be sure to sign up for the RSS feed or the Twitter accounts to find out. (Links are to the right of the blog.)

Q and A - Jared and Shara

I came across this questionnaire in the 21st century database (ooc - on http://www.onlinedatingmagazine.com/columns/datingtriumphs/2007/67-questionsforyourdate.html)

I thought it might be fun for Jared and me to ask each other and answer the questions!

Here goes:

Milk or Dark Chocolate?

S: Chocolate? Did someone say chocolate? There is no such thing as bad chocolate. I like both.
J: *chuckles at Shara's answer* I like dark chocolate.

What kind of shoes are you wearing?

S: Boots
J: Boots

Favorite place?

S: *wistfully* I love Orion. I miss it.
J: *smiles* My favorite place is wherever Shara is. (That answer earns a kiss from Shara, BTW.)

Best beverage?

S: Some mocha drink I had on Voyager. I don't recall the name. And pina coladas.
J: Brandy.

Which would you try—skydiving, rappelling, or scuba diving?

S: All of them.
J: All of them.

Elementary school—bully or bullied?

S: *puzzled* What is "elementary school"?
J: *laughs* I was the bully.

Ever broken a body part?

S: Yes.
J: Yes, several.

Iced Cubes or Crushed Ice?

S: Crushed
J: Crushed

Do you believe in Big Foot?

S: What is that?
J: I have no idea what you are talking about.

Did you run away from home when you were little?

S: No. *sad* But I was sold when I was 11, after my parents were killed. I wished I could have gone back home.
J: *solemn* Yeah. When I was 6, right after my parents died. I didn't really understand that they were dead. I thought I could find them and bring them back home.


Favorite costume you’ve ever worn?

S: Um. Not sure.
J: My favorite costume isn't one I have worn. Shara wore it. That slave girl getup. *wolf whistle* She can wear that for me anytime. *grins at Shara, who blushes deep green and smiles*
S: *still blushing* Then I guess that costume is my favorite, since Jared likes it so much.

What scared you as a kid?

S: *soft, nearly a whisper* My Master.
J: *glances at Shara, concerned, reaches over and squeezes her hand* I was scared of the targs I thought were hiding under my bed. *chuckles*

Any advice for a 5-year-old?

S: *smiles* Enjoy being 5.
J: Hug your parents. A lot.

Got any questions for me? Or Jared?

Leave them as a comment! We'd be happy to answer them!

*hugs*

~ Shara

Medical Conference - The Aftermath

Personal Log

Jared and I have returned from the medical conference on Symmtach.

Jared was right - there was trouble, but not from where we thought there was going to be trouble. Jared had thought that Dr. Ishom was a threat, that we were maybe walking into a trap. But that was not the case at all. The medical conference came under attack - people interested in stealing the new medical device and also medical supplies. Hostages were taken, and 20 of the doctors were killed.

It scares me to think that if it were not for Jared's instincts - if he had not made us leave right before those men took over the conference - we could be dead right now.

We have a guest aboard the liberty - Dr. Ishom, the leader of the medical conference. He happened to follow us out of the room he saw us leaving - a move that very well may have saved his life.

Dr. Ishom will be staying on board liberty until it is safe for him to return to the medical facility. If he chooses to go somewhere other than the medical facility, I'm sure that we can take him wherever he wants to go.

Another thing happened while we were at the conference - I saved Jared's life. Again. *soft chuckle* After all those times of him being afraid to take me with him on away missions, I end up saving him.

I don't think that he will be insisting I stay on the ship anymore. He says that he wants me as his away team partner from now on.

I like the way that sounds.

Medical Conference and More

Chief Medic’s Log:

As an Orion female, I normally produce pheromones that can cause problems for humanoid males and females. In males, there is an increase in adrenaline production. This can cause males to be more aggressive. Prolonged exposure to the pheromones causes males to be extremely vulnerable to suggestion. In females, exposure results in migraines.

Until this point, I have been administering a formula that not only eliminates my pheromone production, but it also affects my temperament and also my sex drive. This was considered necessary when I was on Voyager.

Now that I am on the Liberty, I am going to speak to the captain about administering an anti-pheromone formula (so they will be immune to the effects of the pheromones) to the crewmembers and allowing myself to stop taking the pheromone inhibitor.

Not only will this eliminate the issue of having my mood and sex drive altered, it will also help to provide an additional level of defense for the ship that can work in conjunction with the intruder alert system.

Another thing that has transpired is that I have learned from the data feeds about a medical conference that is coming up this weekend. Not only are they unveiling a new piece of technology that I think would be very beneficial to have on board, but there will also be other workshops available and will also be a networking event.

Jared, of course, has insisted on coming with me. It’s not that I mind his company at all – far from it – I just wish that he would not be quite so paranoid about my safety. What could possibly happen at a conference full of doctors? It just seems like he is worrying for nothing.

~Shara, Chief Medic – Liberty

Unusual Cargo

Chief Medic’s Log:

For starters, I lost a bet to Jared this week. I said I could hide better than he could track. I dragged Morgan along with me. We hid and Jared found us – because I was wearing perfume. Not to mention that he suggested I wear the perfume that morning. No, that wasn’t cheating at all….

Oh well. I lost, so I’ll have to pay up. *laughs*

On a different note, we picked up some unusual cargo this week. Zeke was paid a premium to take the cargo sight unseen. (Not unusual in our line of work, I might add.)

Shortly after we picked up this cargo, the crew began to see unusual things. Morgan saw a puppy she had long ago when she was a child. Jared saw his grandmother. Rain saw his sister, Misty. I saw Misha, a pet that we had on my old ship, the Cedalion.

At first we thought that we were simply tired and were seeing things; but after we had gotten together and compared notes, we discovered that all of us were seeing things that we had been thinking about in the moments before they manifested. Whatever we thought about, we saw.
Putting two and two together, we realized that this began when the cargo was brought on board. After Jared, Morgan and Rain went down to the cargo bay, they discovered that the crate we had brought onboard was a portable holodeck – one designed to manifest what the person is thinking. It had powered up on its own.

Morgan shut it down after disengaging the power source and things returned to normal.
Now we are looking forward to some nice, relaxing shore leave – spending the money we made from the cargo, of course.

Oh. And I am continuing to train the crew and take precautions in case something happens to me. I am continuing their training in first aid and also making notes to include in the medkits on board.

~ Shara, Chief Medic of the Liberty

J'rem H'soth

Chief Medic’s Log

This has been a very emotional and traumatic week.

We started off the week by finding out some information on a known criminal – J’rem H’soth.

While he had a long list of crimes that were associated with him, he actually only had a bounty out for one crime – grand larceny. And the bounty that was offered for this particular crime was huge.

The crew of the Liberty decided to pursue J’rem H’soth. After doing some research and getting some background information, they felt well equipped to handle him.

They got information about J’rem’s location and pursued him there. They had tracked him to some caverns and Jared, Rain, Zeke and Morgan were trying to locate him in the huge labyrinth of tunnels below ground.

In the process, the group split up. Each group thought that Morgan was with the other group.
J’rem captured Morgan and used a spacial rift generator to carry her to a planet called Ryth. He tortured her for hours, including carving his name into her flesh and a brutal sexual assault.
Rain, Jared and Zeke had a confrontation with J’rem, and J’rem lost an arm in the scuffle. But, unfortunately, J’rem escaped.

It was all I could do not to cry when I saw the damage that had been inflicted upon Morgan. My heart ached as I used the dermal regenerator to remove J’rem’s name from her side. He had taken the knife and cut it into her flesh in well over a dozen places, other than where he had carved his name into her. He had brutally beaten her – her face was a testimony to his evil viciousness.

I have healed her physical wounds, but I know that the emotional ones will take much longer to heal. Rain is doing everything he can to help her.

J’rem made some threats during the confrontation with the guys on the planet. He told Jared that he was going to sell me into slavery. I also know that Morgan is afraid that he will come back to hurt her again. Perhaps even kill her.

Because of these threats, we have been working to put our intruder alert system back online and we are also becoming much more vigilant in helping the crew keep track of each other.
When we confront J’rem again, we will be ready.

~ Shara, Chief Medic of the Liberty

A Royal Rescue

Chief Medic’s Log

MU Tom Paris is still missing; however, because the Alsuran goverment officials have found some of his clothing and other effects in the desert near the prison where he had been held, he is presumed dead by the Alsurans.

Zeke made the announcement earlier this week. While it hurt terribly to hear what he had to say, there was some closure at least. Zeke does not want to change his MIA status, but in my heart I truly feel like he is gone.

I have just about finished all of my preparations for the medical training for the crew. While I will keep having ongoing training, the basic training has been completed and the basic preparations have been put into place. I feel much better about the possibility of my being hurt – at the very least, the crew should be able to administer basic first aid.

The Liberty had shore leave on Altori. It was nice to actually be able to breathe fresh air and have the sun on my face. The crew sold some of the meds that they had acquired on the last mission so that we could restock some supplies and the crew could have some spending money. I spent shore leave with Jared on the planet’s surface.

The Altori people are remarkably human in their appearance. In fact, they are so similar to humans that most of the crew of the liberty had no problem blending in. I, of course, stood out. In fact, I attracted so much attention that we had to make a hasty retreat from the planet’s surface. Because there is an active slave trade on that planet, there were some merchants who wanted to acquire me so that they could sell me. That brought back some unpleasant memories, to say the least.

Rain and Morgan got into some trouble on the planet’s surface. They decided to steal a very expensive bottle of brandy from the Prince. They walked right into the palace and got it – and they were seen. They were chased by the palace guards. Rain got a concussion and Morgan subdued the guards. Jared and I came upon them while we were running from our crowd and helped Rain get back to the shuttle.

Rain had a brief bout of disorientation and amnesia, but when he saw how Morgan was reacting he decided to pretend like he was still having amnesia so that she would be nice to him. I played along and gave Morgan explicit instructions that she was to cater to Rain and also to help him regain his memory by using familiar acts of intimacy. I am sure that when she finds out that I played along there’ll be hell to pay, but it was hilarious.

I like the way that this crew interacts. They are always joking or talking. When I first came on board, Zeke said that this crew was like a family. I really didn’t believe him at first. While the crew on Voyager is a wonderful group of people and I have a lot of friends on there, there was always a regimented aspect to life on Voyager that I never really could get comfortable with. I like this crew in the way that they treat each other as equals. Yes, we do have a captain. We do have a first officer. But I never feel like I am talking to someone who is superior to me in any way. They are just Zeke and Rain – sort of like my dad and brother.

And this crew looks out for each other. Yes, the Voyager crew looks out for each other. But the feeling I get from this crew is so very different. I know that they would go to the ninth level of hell and back for me, and I would do the same for them.

Jared and I had a long talk after we got back from shore leave. I talked about my background, what my life was like before I came to Voyager and Liberty. And about him.

Because of the trouble that Rain and Morgan had gotten into, the crew of the Liberty had to rescue the daughter of the Prince from whom they stole the bottle of brandy. She had been kidnapped and it was assumed that she was being sold into slavery.

Rain, Morgan, Jared and I posed as masters and slaves so that we could infiltrate where the auction was being held and rescue the princess. Rain and I posed as slaves, while Jared and Morgan posed as brother and sister slave owners.

I wore my slave girl outfit (http://www.twitpic.com/gm25c) and Jared and I provided a distraction so that Rain and Morgan could grab the princess and make a run for the shuttle. Things went very smoothly and without a hitch.

It was the first time that I actually helped with a mission. I was glad that I could be of help. And I look forward to helping them more in the future.

~Shara, Chief Medic – Liberty

Update - A Busy Week

Chief Medic’s Log

This has been a very busy week on the Liberty. I thought when I transferred from Voyager to the Liberty things would be a little bit more exciting, but I did not realize exactly how exciting it would be. I’m not complaining. It is good to be needed. It’s just…. different.

Since the Liberty is following along with Voyager, I can at least visit with friends. Ensigns Braddock and Arda visited me on the Liberty earlier in the week. I got to show them around my office and also to chat with them for a while. I hope that I will be able to visit them on Voyager soon.

I was also very surprised this week to discover a stowaway on the Liberty. I nearly shot him with a phaser in the infirmary whenever I discovered him in a ventilation duct. Come to find out he had been a stowaway sent their last landing and had been surviving by stealing food and other items. His name is Thrail Shra (follow him at – www.twitter.com/thrailshra ) and he and I have had the chance to talk. It seems that we have something in common – we have both lost spouses.

It is somehow comforting to talk to someone who understands the pain and loss of losing a spouse. While other people can be very sympathetic, to be able to share memories and feelings with someone who understands exactly how you feel provides a special kind of comfort. I hope that I was as comforting to him as he has been to me.

I have also found out that Tom is missing. He volunteered to go on a mission – insisted on going – by himself. We have not heard from him since he left. Right now I am not sure he is dead or alive. I keep telling myself that he is too stubborn to die, that he is going to walk in my door with a cocky smile and tell me all about how exciting his mission was. I keep telling myself that he is thinking of me where he is, and that he is doing his best to come back to me.

But I also have to face reality. He may never come back. I just keep taking every day, one day at a time, trying not to dwell on what is happening to him. Or what has already happened.

There was also an explosion on board this week. I’m not sure exactly what happened, but Morgan – our engineer – must have left something running. There was an explosion and I was hurt. I received some burns, nothing life-threatening as long as they were treated quickly. I made my way to the infirmary and Jared helped me to treat my burns.

I believe that both of our shuttles have been damaged and are not able to fly. I also believe that Morgan is working to repair them as quickly as she possibly can. Until the shuttles have been repaired, we are shipbound.

Morgan and Rain – our First Officer/Science Officer – got into quite a tiff about the accident, but I think they are okay now. They seemed like they were getting along fine last night.

Which brings me to last night.

When I came from Voyager, I brought along my database of 20th century music. I was listening to music in my quarters and dancing, trying to keep my mind off of everything that is going on with Tom.

Jared heard music and followed it to my room. He started singing to me and also we begin to dance. I have not laughed like that in a long time. Don’t get me wrong – he is an excellent singer and dancer. He was simply trying to do things in a way so that I would laugh.

Morgan and Rain also followed the music to my room and they joined us. We took turns selecting songs. It was a lot of fun.

The final song we did was dancing to the Time Warp. It was so much fun we did it twice. By the end of the night, everyone was laughing and having a good time.

Then it came time for everyone to say goodnight. Rain and Morgan left, leaving Jared and myself in my quarters. Jared tried to give me a kiss goodnight, but I couldn’t let him. I keep telling myself that Tom is going to come home. I can’t betray Tom like that. Jared said he understood. We ended the night on a good note.

With us not knowing where Tom is right now, I need to make arrangements and plan ahead with the assumption that he may not come back. Since Tom was supposed to be our backup medic, I now have to have a backup plan in case I am the one that is injured. Receiving those burns in that accident really made it hit home. Jared helped as much as he was able to, but if I had not been awake and able to talk him through everything he would not have been able to help me.
Today I will be working on labeling everything in my medical kit in plain English – analgesics will be labeled as pain killers, etc. – along with very explicit instructions on how to use all of the medications and tools that are included in the kit.

I will be including instructions for human, Orion and Andorian first aid. I also plan on meeting with every member of the crew for a quick orientation so that they will be comfortable using everything in the kit in case of an emergency.

I am sure that we will be planning another mission soon, so I want to make sure that I have all of this completed by the time we leave for our next mission.

~Shara, Chief Medic – Liberty

Transitions

This is an excerpt from Ezekiel Storm's Log:

Captain’s Log:

Our mission on Augan was a complete disaster. Not only did we not get paid for the mission, but our medic doublecrossed us. He and his cohorts ended up stealing our payload and also ransacking the ship. My remaining three crew members – Jared Stone, Morgan Connelly and Rain Meadows – were all seriously injured in the process.

Jared was in the worst shape of all three, but Morgan and Rain were pretty bad off, too.

We had a few remaining medical supplies, but no idea what to do with them or even what they were for. Then, we pick up something on our long-range scans that ended up being an escape pod. Two life signs on board, and one of those was weak. One human. One Orion. In the Delta Quadrant!

It turns out that the Orion is a ”doctor’s assistant” named Shara that is serving on Voyager. She patched up her friend that was in the pod with her – some hotshot pilot named Tom Paris – and then proceeded to jump right in and help my crew. I’ll be damned if she didn’t save them all.
Rain and Morgan were up and walking around the next day – weak, but alive.

Jared was still in bad shape, and Doc – which is what we have been calling Shara – said she needed stronger medicines in order to help him. Plus she needed some other stuff for her pheromone shots, whatever the hell those do.

Since we were going to go on a “procurement mission” – in other words, go grab some stuff – in order to get what we needed, Doc went ahead and made up a list for us to get so that we could fully stock the infirmary and also have extra stuff we could sell off later.

We found a nearby planet that operates on a caste system. Upper and lower caste. Morgan had a contact that was a doctor in the hospital for the lower caste. He supplied uniforms, IDs, and map and key cards. We go in, take the meds from the upper caste hospital, then give some to him for payment for the uniforms and ID’s, plus he’d give us crates of food, jugs of water, and other supplies.

Since Jared – our pilot – was in no shape to help, MU Tom Paris (aka Hotshot) offered to pilot for the mission. I’ll say this – he is an arrogant son of a bitch, but he sure can pilot a shuttle. Damn. Poetry in motion is all I can say about that flight. It all went without a hitch – textbook operation. We went in, grabbed the goods, made the exchange and got the hell back to Liberty. Hotshot went right in with us and worked right alongside us – no problems at all.

Doc worked her magic on Jared with those meds we got. He is still hobbling around, but at least he is breathing. Doc says he’ll be walking on his own soon. Not sure when he can pilot. Doc was really hesitant to tell me when that might happen.

I was impressed as hell with that short, green spitfire. Doc knows her way around an infirmary, and her saving my crew – plus Hotshot, her friend – was the best possible job interview I could have seen. I offered her a position as our medic on Liberty.

Tom wanted to stay. Almost from the minute he set foot on Liberty and was conscious. Doc took some convincing. Damn, she is a stubborn one. But she can tell we genuinely like her, and we appreciate her. I think that goes a long way. She accepted my offer.

Last night, I met with the captain of Voyager (Captain Janeway) and one of her officers, a Vulcan named Tuvok. They came aboard the Liberty to see the ship and to see Shara and Tom.

Janeway did her best to convince me that keeping Tom and Shara here is a mistake, but I know in my gut that it’s the right decision, and I told her so.

Still, as a courtesy and to make sure things go well, I agreed to follow close to Voyager for a while and see how things go during a trial period. I don’t have any concerns, but Janeway does. I think it will work out for both of us. I am sure we will see each other again soon.

Ezekiel (”Zeke”) Storm, Captain of the Liberty (www.usslibertyrpg.com)

A troubling 2 weeks

The past couple of weeks have been upsetting in more ways than one.

First, I had a discussion in the Mess Hall with MU Tom Paris. He said that men are better at some jobs than others. A vice versa. You know - women are better with child rearing, that kind of thing. Grrrrr. The discussion got heated, but not out of hand.

The problem is that it was overheard, and that Seven of Nine took punitive action against MU Tom for voicing his opinion to me in a private conversation. She assigned him to double and overlapping shifts. It was completely out of line, and there has been an investigation.

I went with MU Tom to the interview that conducted by Tuvok, since I was a witness. I am confident that MU Tom will be vindicated.

I have requested that Seven of Nine be reprimanded for this and that - from now on - if any major changes are made to MU Tom's shifts the changes must be approved by Tuvok. I do not know if either of these requests will be carried out. More than likely, Seven will simply get a lecture. *shrugs*

I seem to be fighting with more and more friends. I have now had a falling out with John (Ensign Braddock), Seven and Kala. When I was talking to Adam (Ensign Coombs), he made realize that I can't keep fighting with my friends. It is a really small ship.

John and Seven were about MU Tom. John said some horrible things. I know what he was trying to say - the way it came out was just really bad. I went to his quarters and we talked for a bit. While his words still sting, we are still friends. We will get past this.

Adam said that the reason why John is so upset is that he is in love with me. *sigh* I know this. John and I have talked about it from time to time. I love John dearly, but just as a friend. While it is true we had agreed to start "dating" on the rescue mission to the Mirror Universe to retrieve MU Tom and MU Chakotay, it really didn't happen. MU Tom and I started dating instead.

Adam said he would talk to John and see if he could help.

Jean Pierce has been in and out of SickBay - unexplained periods of sleep - 12, 14, 19 hours. We can't find the cause. Although a visit from Chakotay cheered her up. *grins*

That is all for now. Enough drama for now. *laughs*

Shara out.

Am I wrong?

I really just need to think out loud, and that is why this personal log is so important, I suppose. Speaking my thoughts out loud gives me the chance to hear them and to consider them.

MU Tom Paris and I have started dating. I love the time we spend together. He makes me very happy.

But there is one problem. EVERYONE I talk to about dating MU Tom Paris has the same reaction:

"Be careful."

"He is going to hurt you."

"He is not right for you."

John and Harry have been especially concerned. Both of them have warned me to be careful. John even went so far as to say that when (not if) MU Tom broke my heart, he would be a shoulder for me to cry on. He is my best friend. He wants to see me happy, but he also is worried about me. *long pause* I am concerned by how certain he is that MU Tom is going to hurt me. Not physically, of course, but hurting me emotionally.

What is going with everyone? Why is everyone having that reaction?

I know how I feel about MU Tom. I know how he treats me. I know how much I care for him. He is the only person who knows everything about my past and still accepts me for who I am. And who I once was.

But....the reaction of the crew is making me wonder if there is something I am simply not seeing about MU Tom.

I suppose time will tell.

Shara out.

(PS - What do you think MU Tom Paris is going to do? Break Shara's heart? Or not? Vote in the poll on the top right-hand side of the blog to have your say, or leave a comment.)

MU Tom / Induction into StarFleet

Wow. Where do I begin? *laughs*

I went on a training exercise. It was a survival exercise - living on a planet for 24 hours without resources. Living off the land, so to speak. Everyone did well - myself, Braddock, Munro, Jones, Tuvok, Archer, Harry, and MU Tom.

I enjoyed the training. It helped me realize that I might actually be StarFleet material! *laughs* I am so excited. When we returned, MU Tom and I received official induction into StarFleet. No more provisional uniform! I have a regulation uniform - blue, for medical.

Now on to more personal stuff.

I have gone through different stages with MU Tom. At first, he struck me as being an arrogant, tactless oaf. I smacked him in the back of the head a few times. *laughs* We did not get off on the right foot.

But he was so sweet after an argument I had with Harry. He tried to calm Harry down, and then he comforted me when he saw I was upset. That made me rethink the way I saw him. He really wasn't the way I first perceived him to be. And when he and I were getting reprimanded by Captain Janeway - he stood up for me. He defended me. To the Captain!

I got to know him better, and I found myself....drawn to him. He reminds me so much of....myself. Both of us have a past we are not proud of. *chuckles* Both of us have been in our share of beds. *pause* But he accepts me for who I am. I don't have to hide what I used to be around him.

I have told him everything about me. About my past. He is the only one who knows.

And he still loves me.

Last night, we spent the night together. *laughs* That was a very enjoyable evening. I look forward to sharing many more with him. *grin*

Shara out.

Two away missions and more updates

I have started preparing for my StarFleet training. Because I have some medical training, I am expected to go on away missions.

So far I have been on two away missions.

The first mission did not go well. We had to make an emergency landing, and both Tuvok and Ensign Braddock were injured. I had to help stabilize their condition and then pilot the ship closer to Voyager so that they could use a tractor beam in order to bring the in.

The second mission went much better. We went to the mirror universe and brought back Tom and Chakotay's counterparts. I went along as the medic, and Jon went along to pilot the shuttle.

I have always been a little bit nervous around Chakotay's counterpart, but MU Tom is unsettling in a different way. I am not sure exactly what it is.

In a way, he reminds me of the way I was before I came to Voyager - wild, unsettled, uncontrolled. Because of this, it makes me feel like we are kindred spirits.

On the other hand, it also makes me want to smack him every time I see him. Really hard.

Harry and I are on speaking terms again. No matter what happens, I hope that we will at least remain good friends.

Shara out.

Shara's Slave Girl Outfit - Part 2

Here is the colorized version - gorgeous, isn't it?

Shara's Slave Girl Outfit

Ever wonder what my slave girl outfit looks like? Here it is!

When I am dancing on the Holodeck, this is usually what I am wearing. :)

This original artwork was done just for me!

Want your own? email groovytrekgoddess@gmail.com to order yours!

No longer with Harry

It is with a very heavy heart I write this.

I am no longer with Harry. Although I still love him dearly, I know I rushed things with him and I need to be on my own for a while. Perhaps we will be together again. I honestly do not know. All I know is that I need some time to myself.

When I first came to Voyager, I was deeply traumatized from the loss of my ship and also from the loss of my friends and my mate. Harry and Neelix helped me through that very traumatic time. Neelix has remained a very dear friend. I hope that, in time, Harry will also be my friend once again. Right now, he is very angry with me and hurt. I do not blame him at all. I should have been stronger when we were apart before. I was so upset because I knew how badly he was hurting - I just wanted to make him happier.

That does not mean that I do not love Harry. I do. But, at this point, I am really not sure what type of love I have for him. I just know that I want him to be happy, but I also want to do what is right for both of us.

And then there is John. John has become a very good friend. I enjoy being around him. He makes me laugh. I feel very... comfortable with him. *laughs* And I like the fact that he is comfortable with me. He enjoys joking and teasing, which is a lot of fun.

I want to take this time to develop some friendships with more people on the ship. I feel like for the longest time if I did not do something with Harry, then I simply stayed in my quarters or just did not associate with anyone.

I had dinner with a group of people last night: I had dinner with John, Samantha, Jean, and Ayala. It was fun being part of such a large group.

I would like to find some way I can make friends with more of the ladies on the ship. I had suggested to Jean at some type of dancing lessons might appeal to the ladies on the ship. I will work on it.

For now, I am simply gonna take my time and make sure that I have my emotions in check before I make any decisions.

Shara out.

Recovering

I had another examination from The Doctor yesterday.

I was attacked a few days ago by Harry's Mirror Universe counterpart. I was in a coma for days, and I have still not fully recovered.

I have been told by several people that Harry never left my side the entire time that I was in SickBay. They said that he stayed there the entire time: talking to me, holding my hand, and watching over me - making sure that I was safe. He was the first person that I saw when I woke up, although I was terrified when I saw him. I did not realize that it was his counterpart that had attacked me - I thought that for some terrible reason he had attacked me. I hid behind The Doctor - I could tell that Harry was crushed. Here he had been by my side constantly since I was unconscious, and now I was terrified of him.

The Doctor assured me that it was not Harry that had attacked me, but it was his counterpart. While that was somewhat convincing, the look that I saw in Harry's eyes was all the proof that I needed. I knew that he could never hurt me. I could tell that he had not slept, that he was so worried for me. I could see in his eyes how much he loves me.

The Doctor allowed him to take me back to my quarters. He stayed with me that night, making sure that I was okay. He is so worried about me.

Last night, when he was checking on me to make sure that I was okay, I asked him to stay with me again. He said he would, as long as it was okay with me. I told him that I wished he would stay with me every night.

He smiled and said that he would.

I cannot even begin to tell you how happy I was to hear him say that. I didn't even breathe for a few moments.

As happy as that makes me, I am concerned about what the Doctor has said about my recovery. He does believe that I will make a full recovery, but he also believes that it will take quite some time. Until he is convinced that I am operating at 100%, I will not be allowed back on duty.

I have not told Harry yet. I want to wait and see what this next examination holds before I tell Harry. I know that he is going to worry.

Shara out.

My uniform

If you wondered what my uniform looks like - here it is!

This beautiful artwork was done especially for me.

Love it? Want your own artwork?

Contact groovytrekgoddess@gmail .com

I am so excited!

I am so happy! I can hardly contain myself!

First, let me give a little background.

When I first came aboard Voyager, it took some time to get my pheromones under control. I had been put into the quarters next to Chakotay, but he and Harry are very susceptible to my pheromones. For their safety (and mine) I was moved (very hastily, I might add) to another part of the ship. (Close to the Mess Hall, near Neelix.)

Now Jean has my old quarters. *smiles* So she can be close to Chakotay.

I mentioned to Harry that it might be nice to have my quarters next to him. I said it half-joking. Harry is a bit shy. *giggles* But, to my surprise (and delight!), he seems to be quite taken with the idea! He said I needed to ask Chakotay and see if I can move to a quarters next to his! *dances a little*

He even joked that we should take the wall out between the rooms. *giggles* I misunderstood what he meant - I thought he meant he wanted to be my mate! (Again, surprised and delighted me!) But I think he was just joking. I'm not sure. He said we could talk about it if I was agreeable to the idea.

I am agreeable to it. *giggles* But I think that having our quarters next to each other would be a good step for us. Then we can see when/if we want to go further. *thoughtful smile*

I hope my request to switch rooms is approved. *giggles*

Shara out.

Jean Is on Board

I am happy to say that Jean is finally on board.

I am happy about this for several reasons.

Of course I am happy for Jean and Chakotay. Chakotay has been grinning like crazy about it all week - and now she is here. *bursts into laughter* In my old quarters, no less - right next to Chakotay's. *laughs* That should make things convenient. *giggles*

*sighs* I wish my quarters were next to Harry's, but I don't think it would make much of a difference. Harry is rather....shy with me. *sad sigh* Maybe that will change in time. I hope so.

Anyway, now that Jean is on board, I will have another female friend. Maybe she can help me become better friends with the other females on Voyager. Maybe I am doing something wrong, and she can help me correct it.

Finally - dancing lessons! Jean has asked me to teach her how to dance - Orion style! I am so excited! I have even replicated a new Orion Slave Girl - style outfit for me - and for her! *giggles* It's a surprise.

Well, time to go for now.

Shara out.

A Calm Day

Today was a day off for both Harry and me.

We had a wonderful day. No date, really, but we just spent the day together - having lunch, walking the corridors, talking with some other crew members. Then we had dinner in the Mess Hall. I loved it.

I got a nice kiss goodnight, too. *blush*

*long pause*

I am also getting to know more people on the ship. I seem to get along well with the male crew members, but very few female crew members associate with me. They are not unkind - they simply don't seem to want to get to know me.

If my pheromones were normal, I would attribute that to their effect on females - headaches, mostly. But my pheromones should not be a factor. The Doctor assures me they are under control. *frowns*

Still, B'Elanna , Cornelia and Samantha are my friends. And Seven, I suppose. So that will be fine. *weak smile*

I guess I should go so I can get some rest. I have a busy day tomorrow.

Shara out.

Update:

What a surprise! I got a call from Harry and he asked me to come down to the Mess Hall for a late night sundae. Yay!

Harry - Part 2

It's very amazing how things change so quickly.

After talking with Jean Pierce (our soon-to-be counselor), I realized that I need to give my relationship with Harry a chance and see what develops without complicating it any further with dating Ayala. It's not fair to him or Ayala to do that. Ayala understood completely and was very good about it when I told him.

I am very happy with this decision. I enjoy being with Harry and I do love him. (Perhaps I was just scared with how quickly things progressed.) I can tell that he is trying very hard to control his jealousy, and he really does have a wonderful spirit and a gentle heart.

Best of all, Harry has met Mashteh (my pet draco-mouse) and my puppy Akelaa - and they hit it off so well! I am relieved.

Tonight we will have a game or two of Kal-toh and Then not sure what else. *blushes and giggles*

I am settling into my routine on Voyager and finding my place. I am more comfortable in both SickBay and cooking in the Mess Hall. I enjoy playing hostess, too! *giggles* It helps me get to know the other crew members.

I have been getting to know Samantha Wildman more. She seems to be a very sweet lady. Most of the ladies on board don't really have anything to do with me (except for B'Elanna), but I had coffee and cake in the Mess Hall with Samantha yesterday.

I still haven't met everyone on board, but I am getting to know everyone little by little. And the pain I feel from the past eases more and more each day.

Shara out.

My personal life. *sigh*

Why do things have to be so complicated?

Being able to have some time apart from Harry has helped me a lot. It has given me some time to grieve for Mirek and the others.

And I am also able to develop some more friendships, especially with Ayala. I have been spending more time with him lately, and he is a very remarkable man. *smile* I enjoy listening to the stories he tells about his sons. He listens to my stories of Mirek. *laughs* I guess we just enjoy sharing stories.

I enjoy spending time with Harry, and we are friends. We played poker last night with Neelix and Cornelia in the Mess Hall. I really enjoyed that. It was a lot of fun. *smiles* Even though I lost. Horribly. *giggles*

*long pause* Harry is very jealous. He doesn't want me to see anyone else - no one who is male, anyway - but I refuse to hide in my quarters and to not talk to the male members of the crew. I don't want to hurt Harry, but I want to make more friends.

Neelix shared a story about Kes that was so....insightful. He said he used to be so jealous. (Not that I can believe that - he seems like the least jealous man alive, but anyway.) As if he were a child who was so afraid someone was going to play with his favorite toy. He was so angry if he even thought someone was interested in her.

*pauses to think*

I think that is a good description of jealousy.

*another pause*

Harry has been very, very sweet lately, but I still want to wait to decide whether or not we will begin to date again. I am just not sure.

I guess I should go for now.

Shara out.

A new visitor...and Neelix

As always, it was a very busy day on Voyager yesterday. *laughs*

Due to a transporter malfunction, we have a new Borg drone on board. While I found him intimidating, at first, he is not nearly as scary as I thought he was. He is...charming, in a way. *smiles*

Seven of Nine was concerned that my pheromones might be a problem, but that does not seem to be the case. I am relieved.

And...it felt so nice to have Neelix near me when we were in the cargo bay. *smiles* He is such a comfort to me. He is...very special. *long pause*

Neelix is always thinking of everyone else. He is a companion, Godfather and playmate for Naomi. He is the morale officer for everyone on board. *chuckles* *pause* And he is very special to me.

I guess I need to go for now and get to the Mess Hall and help Neelix get things ready for the next meal service.

Shara out.

Harry

Yesterday was a very difficult day.

Where do I begin? When I came to Voyager, it was a very traumatic time. I had lost my ship; I was injured; I had lost my friends and Mirek, and I was now 200 years in the future.

Two people were so incredibly helpful to me those first few days: Neelix and Harry.

Neelix is/was immune to my pheromones, so he stayed with me all night in Sickbay that first, awful night. Tuvok and Vorik (also immune) stayed, as well, but Neelix was the one to comfort me, talk to me. Tuvok and Vorik guarded me physically while the Doctor worked to find a way to control the effect of my pheromones on the crew, but Neelix....well, Neelix was worried about my heart. *smiles* He talked to me, comforted me, and never left my side.

Neelix also...went with me to...see Mirek and the others after they had...passed on. He held my hand, hugged me and let me cry while I said my final goodbyes.

Then there's Harry. *smiles* Harry has been wonderful to me. He is so kind, gentle and thoughtful. I love him, very much.

*deep breath* But....I need some time. I need to take some time and deal with my losses. I need to find a way to handle my emotions - including my anger. I need to grieve.

But...not only that. I need to find my place on Voyager. To see where I truly fit in.

So I have asked Harry if we can just be friends for now.

I hope that Harry and I can date again...later. Time will tell.

Shara out.

Finding my Place

I am getting settled in with the Voyager crew. I am learning my way around the ship and I enjoy helping the Doctor in SickBay and Neelix in the kitchen/Mess Hall. The Doctor has been glowing in his compliments about my work lately. *blush* That is a far cry from when I first started in SickBay - I really thought my first day would be my last. *smiles*

Neelix has been such a good friend to me. He has helped me so much, and I enjoy helping him with cooking and baking for the crew. The crew seems to appreciate it, as well - the spice cake I made last night seems to have been a huge hit. I'll have to make it again soon. *blushing*

While I still miss my friends and Mirek, I have come to terms that I will be here permanently and I need to focus on the future, not the past. Nothing I do can bring back my former life, so I need to make the best of my future.

Which brings me to Harry. *warm smile* Harry brings a lot of joy into my life. I love being with him, spending time with him. Even if it is only a few moments while he is on duty - I am just happy seeing him.

Yesterday, I stopped by and saw him while he was on duty. Later that night (when he was still on duty) I brought him some cake and tea. *blush* And I got a kiss goodbye, which was very nice. *giggle*

Well, that's all for now, I suppose.

Shara out.

An Intruder on Board

Last night was...interesting. We had an intruder on Voyager. He was a...um...humanoid lizard? Maybe?

All I know is that he was very big and scared me to death.

He left peacefully, but it was still unsettling.

Since this is the second creature to seek out my quarters in just a few days, I have to wonder if there isn't something odd going on with my pheromones. I will have to ask the Doctor about it later.

Mashteh came back last night. I was relieved. (But glad he wasn't there when the new creature visited. Mashteh would have eaten him, I'm afraid. ) I feel safe when Mashteh stays with me at night.

Harry and I had a wonderful time on the Holodeck. He is so romantic!

*sigh* Well, off to help Neelix with dinner. I'll write more later.

Shara out.

Another Fight

Great. Another fight. This time with Cornelia Archer.

*sigh* I know I need to control my emotions. I know that. If I don't, I will be in huge trouble.

*pause* But sometimes I hurt so much. I miss my friends. I miss my mate. I miss....everything.

*heavy sigh* I will be okay. Talking to Cornelia in Sickbay helped so much.

I just have to do a better job of keeping my emotions under control.

Time for some sleep, so I guess I'll talk more later.

Shara out.

I Have a New Pet

I have a pet draco-mouse. *smiles* His name is Mashteh.

He is about 6 feet tall or so. Can be cute and cuddly - unless he is defending or protecting someone. Then he can be quite scary.

Oh, yes. *giggles* He has sabre-like teeth.

I know he sounds scary, but he's not. Not to me, anyway.

He makes me feel very safe. I love how I feel when he is with me. *warm smile*

Oh yes. *blush* He is very affectionate, too.

Oh! Time to go for now.

Shara out.

Starting a Personal Log

Captain Janeway says I need to start recording a personal log.

I'm not sure why, since I am not in StarFleet, but she says it can be very helpful and it is always a good idea to record events and how you are feeling.

So I will do what she asks.

*sigh*

Shara out.