A Calm Day

Today was a day off for both Harry and me.

We had a wonderful day. No date, really, but we just spent the day together - having lunch, walking the corridors, talking with some other crew members. Then we had dinner in the Mess Hall. I loved it.

I got a nice kiss goodnight, too. *blush*

*long pause*

I am also getting to know more people on the ship. I seem to get along well with the male crew members, but very few female crew members associate with me. They are not unkind - they simply don't seem to want to get to know me.

If my pheromones were normal, I would attribute that to their effect on females - headaches, mostly. But my pheromones should not be a factor. The Doctor assures me they are under control. *frowns*

Still, B'Elanna , Cornelia and Samantha are my friends. And Seven, I suppose. So that will be fine. *weak smile*

I guess I should go so I can get some rest. I have a busy day tomorrow.

Shara out.

Update:

What a surprise! I got a call from Harry and he asked me to come down to the Mess Hall for a late night sundae. Yay!

My personal life. *sigh*

Why do things have to be so complicated?

Being able to have some time apart from Harry has helped me a lot. It has given me some time to grieve for Mirek and the others.

And I am also able to develop some more friendships, especially with Ayala. I have been spending more time with him lately, and he is a very remarkable man. *smile* I enjoy listening to the stories he tells about his sons. He listens to my stories of Mirek. *laughs* I guess we just enjoy sharing stories.

I enjoy spending time with Harry, and we are friends. We played poker last night with Neelix and Cornelia in the Mess Hall. I really enjoyed that. It was a lot of fun. *smiles* Even though I lost. Horribly. *giggles*

*long pause* Harry is very jealous. He doesn't want me to see anyone else - no one who is male, anyway - but I refuse to hide in my quarters and to not talk to the male members of the crew. I don't want to hurt Harry, but I want to make more friends.

Neelix shared a story about Kes that was so....insightful. He said he used to be so jealous. (Not that I can believe that - he seems like the least jealous man alive, but anyway.) As if he were a child who was so afraid someone was going to play with his favorite toy. He was so angry if he even thought someone was interested in her.

*pauses to think*

I think that is a good description of jealousy.

*another pause*

Harry has been very, very sweet lately, but I still want to wait to decide whether or not we will begin to date again. I am just not sure.

I guess I should go for now.

Shara out.

Another Fight

Great. Another fight. This time with Cornelia Archer.

*sigh* I know I need to control my emotions. I know that. If I don't, I will be in huge trouble.

*pause* But sometimes I hurt so much. I miss my friends. I miss my mate. I miss....everything.

*heavy sigh* I will be okay. Talking to Cornelia in Sickbay helped so much.

I just have to do a better job of keeping my emotions under control.

Time for some sleep, so I guess I'll talk more later.

Shara out.