Am I wrong?

I really just need to think out loud, and that is why this personal log is so important, I suppose. Speaking my thoughts out loud gives me the chance to hear them and to consider them.

MU Tom Paris and I have started dating. I love the time we spend together. He makes me very happy.

But there is one problem. EVERYONE I talk to about dating MU Tom Paris has the same reaction:

"Be careful."

"He is going to hurt you."

"He is not right for you."

John and Harry have been especially concerned. Both of them have warned me to be careful. John even went so far as to say that when (not if) MU Tom broke my heart, he would be a shoulder for me to cry on. He is my best friend. He wants to see me happy, but he also is worried about me. *long pause* I am concerned by how certain he is that MU Tom is going to hurt me. Not physically, of course, but hurting me emotionally.

What is going with everyone? Why is everyone having that reaction?

I know how I feel about MU Tom. I know how he treats me. I know how much I care for him. He is the only person who knows everything about my past and still accepts me for who I am. And who I once was.

But....the reaction of the crew is making me wonder if there is something I am simply not seeing about MU Tom.

I suppose time will tell.

Shara out.

(PS - What do you think MU Tom Paris is going to do? Break Shara's heart? Or not? Vote in the poll on the top right-hand side of the blog to have your say, or leave a comment.)

MU Tom / Induction into StarFleet

Wow. Where do I begin? *laughs*

I went on a training exercise. It was a survival exercise - living on a planet for 24 hours without resources. Living off the land, so to speak. Everyone did well - myself, Braddock, Munro, Jones, Tuvok, Archer, Harry, and MU Tom.

I enjoyed the training. It helped me realize that I might actually be StarFleet material! *laughs* I am so excited. When we returned, MU Tom and I received official induction into StarFleet. No more provisional uniform! I have a regulation uniform - blue, for medical.

Now on to more personal stuff.

I have gone through different stages with MU Tom. At first, he struck me as being an arrogant, tactless oaf. I smacked him in the back of the head a few times. *laughs* We did not get off on the right foot.

But he was so sweet after an argument I had with Harry. He tried to calm Harry down, and then he comforted me when he saw I was upset. That made me rethink the way I saw him. He really wasn't the way I first perceived him to be. And when he and I were getting reprimanded by Captain Janeway - he stood up for me. He defended me. To the Captain!

I got to know him better, and I found myself....drawn to him. He reminds me so much of....myself. Both of us have a past we are not proud of. *chuckles* Both of us have been in our share of beds. *pause* But he accepts me for who I am. I don't have to hide what I used to be around him.

I have told him everything about me. About my past. He is the only one who knows.

And he still loves me.

Last night, we spent the night together. *laughs* That was a very enjoyable evening. I look forward to sharing many more with him. *grin*

Shara out.

Two away missions and more updates

I have started preparing for my StarFleet training. Because I have some medical training, I am expected to go on away missions.

So far I have been on two away missions.

The first mission did not go well. We had to make an emergency landing, and both Tuvok and Ensign Braddock were injured. I had to help stabilize their condition and then pilot the ship closer to Voyager so that they could use a tractor beam in order to bring the in.

The second mission went much better. We went to the mirror universe and brought back Tom and Chakotay's counterparts. I went along as the medic, and Jon went along to pilot the shuttle.

I have always been a little bit nervous around Chakotay's counterpart, but MU Tom is unsettling in a different way. I am not sure exactly what it is.

In a way, he reminds me of the way I was before I came to Voyager - wild, unsettled, uncontrolled. Because of this, it makes me feel like we are kindred spirits.

On the other hand, it also makes me want to smack him every time I see him. Really hard.

Harry and I are on speaking terms again. No matter what happens, I hope that we will at least remain good friends.

Shara out.

Shara's Slave Girl Outfit - Part 2

Here is the colorized version - gorgeous, isn't it?

Shara's Slave Girl Outfit

Ever wonder what my slave girl outfit looks like? Here it is!

When I am dancing on the Holodeck, this is usually what I am wearing. :)

This original artwork was done just for me!

Want your own? email groovytrekgoddess@gmail.com to order yours!

No longer with Harry

It is with a very heavy heart I write this.

I am no longer with Harry. Although I still love him dearly, I know I rushed things with him and I need to be on my own for a while. Perhaps we will be together again. I honestly do not know. All I know is that I need some time to myself.

When I first came to Voyager, I was deeply traumatized from the loss of my ship and also from the loss of my friends and my mate. Harry and Neelix helped me through that very traumatic time. Neelix has remained a very dear friend. I hope that, in time, Harry will also be my friend once again. Right now, he is very angry with me and hurt. I do not blame him at all. I should have been stronger when we were apart before. I was so upset because I knew how badly he was hurting - I just wanted to make him happier.

That does not mean that I do not love Harry. I do. But, at this point, I am really not sure what type of love I have for him. I just know that I want him to be happy, but I also want to do what is right for both of us.

And then there is John. John has become a very good friend. I enjoy being around him. He makes me laugh. I feel very... comfortable with him. *laughs* And I like the fact that he is comfortable with me. He enjoys joking and teasing, which is a lot of fun.

I want to take this time to develop some friendships with more people on the ship. I feel like for the longest time if I did not do something with Harry, then I simply stayed in my quarters or just did not associate with anyone.

I had dinner with a group of people last night: I had dinner with John, Samantha, Jean, and Ayala. It was fun being part of such a large group.

I would like to find some way I can make friends with more of the ladies on the ship. I had suggested to Jean at some type of dancing lessons might appeal to the ladies on the ship. I will work on it.

For now, I am simply gonna take my time and make sure that I have my emotions in check before I make any decisions.

Shara out.